time spent ~

[lookingland]

i'm seriously contemplating leaving the internet journaling and discussion communities that i belong to ~ i find it takes up a lot of energy i could be using elsewhere.

i have not made a decision, but i am having a hard time listing concrete benefits. as i am the owner/admin of LookingLand, i have no desire to eliminate the community altogether, but i am thinking of ways to improve my time there (by spending less of it perhaps).

i also was, against my wishes, appointed a moderator at another community online ~ which is fine ~ i can do anything for a couple of months. but i am remembering why i built LookingLand in the first place ~ so as not to have to spend energy trafficking in intolerance and hatred and hysteria. not that anything is so bad being a moderator ~ just don't feel called to champion a cause in which people feel entitled to insult one another ~ but then i guess that goes for anything, really.

i should perhaps lead a more contemplative life. all the hustle and bustle just feels like it breaks my spirit ~ i am shortsighted in this regard, so i will continue to pray on it.

not sure why i am bothering to post this ~ perhaps just to air my thoughts.

Comments

[brawi.livejournal.com]

Just on the last part:

I've found that I always, always, always would like to stop and live a contemplative life. But the moment the opportunity presents itself, I realize that I lose much of my drive and much of my creativity.

I think the hustle and bustle is what keeps the mind working, keeps me writing, and boring summers like this - while I long for them during the year - end up making me lethargic and bored.

If you end up feeling you need to scale back, then by all means! But I would be careful about being lulled into a "contemplative life" - I've found that's one of the biggest drags on faith and creativity.

[lookingland.livejournal.com]

thank you brad ~ !

i definitely agree that "not being busy enough" can get you lethargic and disinterested and that this may well be a "grass is greener" syndrome for me.

on the other hand, i also think it has a lot to do with the "kind" of busy you are. i spend so much time at the computer (for work and play) that when it comes time to do creative work, i'm just too tired to look at the screen anymore.

maybe a "contemplative" life isn't the answer. maybe i just need to get outdoors more.

; D

[brawi.livejournal.com]

Well, I think the lucky thing about your situation is that the internet is not going to vanish if you take some time off. You can test the grass and see if it actually is greener, and if it's not, I'm sure your hectic online life would be waiting anxiously when you get back :)

But I definitely agree - I've been trying to hectic up my life by some outside pursuits as well - piano, kendo classes, etc. Maybe you could replace a few moderating jobs with a few new pursuits :)

[lookingland.livejournal.com]

ha ~ ! yes, i think that is smart advice.

i may take an extended break here soon, as i feel like i am just always feeling burned out and the short breaks i've taken away only make me realize that i don't actually miss it much when i'm gone!

[lastremnant.livejournal.com]

I agree with what both of you have discussed here. It's always a dilemma for me as a writer to "want" more time to write, and then for some reason when I get that time, it isn't utilized for writing. But when I am busy, I tend to generate more ideas and desires to be writing. I can also relate to computer work and play distracting from the creative process. I sort of wish I hadn't gotten into the habit of typing when I write, then I could just go back to pen and paper more.

[lookingland.livejournal.com]

yes ~ good points and good suggestion ~ but as a pen and paper writer initially, i've found lately that i then have even less time to then type up what i've scribbled ~ i've actually had to hire someone on occasion to type pages for me.

i'm really having a hard time finding a balance in any of this.

i wonder if rearranging the furniture would help ~ sometimes just changing the environment can be refreshing ~ : D