i am completely dysfunctional.

i have accomplished nothing.

never watch The Wicker Man while hopped on cough medicine. it's bad enough as it is.

even more strange is watching the accompanying 35-minute short retrospective. i have no idea what movie they are all talking about (or else they're all on crack). describing it as a "cult" phenomenon seems fair enough, but calling it an "intelligent" and "important" and "the Citizen Kane of British horror" makes me really wonder if they all weren't shrooming a bit much on the set. i was definitely not on the bus with this one, despite all its promise (i mean who doesn't love animal-masked pagan parades?)

the best moment in the whole film is when the detective, aghast, points to the women dancing their fertility dance (jumping over a fire pit) and says to christopher lee: "they're naked!" and lee replies casually, "well of course they are; you can't do that with your clothes on, you'll catch fire."

otherwise dated, predictable and pedestrian.

and apparently hollywood is remaking it with nicolas cage.

'nuff said.

~ * ~

i feel totally rudderless. i can't focus on anything for more than about three minutes. i've had three days to myself and they've been spent coughing and being supremely discombobulated. so disappointing.

i want to write something, but man i feel disorganized and clueless. i need fresh perspective. i need clear goals and objectives. i need someone to say: here ~ do this and have it on my desk by tomorrow, 3 p.m. sharp! wouldn't we all get so much more done if someone was bothering us for it all the time?

i keep thinking i need to work on From Slaughter's Mountain, but (possibly in the worst frame of mind ever), i am rethinking whether i should rewrite the beginning (yet again) and put it back into some semblance of chronological order. i wonder if it isn't too all over the map and confusing. and then immediately on the heels of that i think about how much work it would be to reorganize it (given how complex it was putting it together in the first place).

i guess the problem is this: the rest of the book isn't nearly as complicated thus far. in fact, it sort of rolls out rather traditionally in a linear fashion ~ and even the narrative flattens out as we lose the two foils along the way. it's like Moulin Rogue: all style and design in the opening and then halfway through just falls into an ordinary story, straight-told.

that, and i ate too much today.

okay, i'm going to stop. this is going nowhere so fast.

: o p
.

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