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dogs woke me at 6:30 this morning, so my day's off to an early start, but i've sat down at the computer and realized: i don't have anything pressing to do! yeah, there's homework and writing and other things like that, but nothing's pressing ~ it's monday and i have the day to do as i please. amazing! and yet ~
~ * ~
not-writing: i'm fighting a creative crisis. i told myself yesterday that i wasn't allowed to have a creative crisis on easter sunday, so i put it off. and i'm still trying to put it off.
last night was supposed to meet with a writers' group and drove out to the twin (got lost, meh!), and then the meeting was sorta cancelled because of a lost laptop that took us to the airport and then out for dumplings and martinis (two things i really needed ~ right!). ah well. i did the social thing. it was fun. and if anything, it helped offset the panic i've been having lately that i'm just a third-rate poseur who ought to quietly get my library degree and slink off into obscurity.
my former writing mentor (with whom i'm only on tentative speaking terms these days, but that's a whole 'nother story) once asked me if i'd be happier not writing. i think as long as i can say no to that question, i'm still in the game.
~ * ~
bret harte, again: can't find any good info about him on the web, no synopses of his works, etc. for an author as prolific as he was (enough to fill 19 volumes over 30 years) much of his stuff seems to have really fallen into total obscurity. a good pile of his works can be found at Project Gutenburg. i guess the other good news is that you can find really cheap copies of his stuff for sale ($2 to $3 for 1800's editions ~ gee). at any rate, the library has all of his books. i just wanted to have some sense of how to pick and choose. i'll prolly read more today. feeling tentative as i don't want to push myself over a precipice.
apparently ambrose bierce liked him well enough, though we all know bierce was a bit of a loon.
bierce: another of my favorite writers, whose
mysterious disappearance is the inspiration for
the epilogue of my opus in which james and morse
take a dureya to mexico in search of
the infamous rabbit-headed child.
~ * ~
people at mass: there's a boy i see at the cathedral: he's going to be a priest when he grows up.
ever have that feeling about someone? you just look at them and you know?
he sits in the front row, sometimes with a little blonde girl who is maybe his sister (hard to say since he's dark-haired). he seems to be about 12 and has really long hair well past his collar. he always wears an untucked dress shirt. he follows the mass faithfully, sings all the songs, responds appropriately, knows when to stand, kneel, etc. he's not grossly pious (like some weird stepford kid), he's just really interested and really focused. his little sister (who's maybe 6) isn't as focused, but she she's well-behaved and doesn't bother. now and then he'll say something to her when she talks to him, but mostly he's intent on the mass.
yesterday, i was determined to find out who these kids belonged to, so when mass was over, i sat down and watched them. the boy took the girl by the hand and the two of them went out of the north entrance. the boy glanced back once, but it seemed to me they were totally unaccompanied by an adult. it was a bit weird.
i don't know why all of this is so fascinating to me, but i find in my own distraction at mass, my eyes invariably settle on people who have the discipline i lack ~ like the woman who's an extraordinary minister (gorgeous black woman ~ ridiculously model-beautiful and so poised. she was wearing this really cool grecian-style dress for the easter service). man, to be that graceful. or to be that intent (like the boy).
God musta given me some graces. i just gotta find them.
~ * ~
all that and i'm convinced my iTunes keeps playing the same two dozen songs over and over (and i am getting sick of them!)
~ * ~
not-writing: i'm fighting a creative crisis. i told myself yesterday that i wasn't allowed to have a creative crisis on easter sunday, so i put it off. and i'm still trying to put it off.
last night was supposed to meet with a writers' group and drove out to the twin (got lost, meh!), and then the meeting was sorta cancelled because of a lost laptop that took us to the airport and then out for dumplings and martinis (two things i really needed ~ right!). ah well. i did the social thing. it was fun. and if anything, it helped offset the panic i've been having lately that i'm just a third-rate poseur who ought to quietly get my library degree and slink off into obscurity.
my former writing mentor (with whom i'm only on tentative speaking terms these days, but that's a whole 'nother story) once asked me if i'd be happier not writing. i think as long as i can say no to that question, i'm still in the game.
~ * ~
bret harte, again: can't find any good info about him on the web, no synopses of his works, etc. for an author as prolific as he was (enough to fill 19 volumes over 30 years) much of his stuff seems to have really fallen into total obscurity. a good pile of his works can be found at Project Gutenburg. i guess the other good news is that you can find really cheap copies of his stuff for sale ($2 to $3 for 1800's editions ~ gee). at any rate, the library has all of his books. i just wanted to have some sense of how to pick and choose. i'll prolly read more today. feeling tentative as i don't want to push myself over a precipice.
apparently ambrose bierce liked him well enough, though we all know bierce was a bit of a loon.
bierce: another of my favorite writers, whose
mysterious disappearance is the inspiration for
the epilogue of my opus in which james and morse
take a dureya to mexico in search of
the infamous rabbit-headed child.
~ * ~
people at mass: there's a boy i see at the cathedral: he's going to be a priest when he grows up.
ever have that feeling about someone? you just look at them and you know?
he sits in the front row, sometimes with a little blonde girl who is maybe his sister (hard to say since he's dark-haired). he seems to be about 12 and has really long hair well past his collar. he always wears an untucked dress shirt. he follows the mass faithfully, sings all the songs, responds appropriately, knows when to stand, kneel, etc. he's not grossly pious (like some weird stepford kid), he's just really interested and really focused. his little sister (who's maybe 6) isn't as focused, but she she's well-behaved and doesn't bother. now and then he'll say something to her when she talks to him, but mostly he's intent on the mass.
yesterday, i was determined to find out who these kids belonged to, so when mass was over, i sat down and watched them. the boy took the girl by the hand and the two of them went out of the north entrance. the boy glanced back once, but it seemed to me they were totally unaccompanied by an adult. it was a bit weird.
i don't know why all of this is so fascinating to me, but i find in my own distraction at mass, my eyes invariably settle on people who have the discipline i lack ~ like the woman who's an extraordinary minister (gorgeous black woman ~ ridiculously model-beautiful and so poised. she was wearing this really cool grecian-style dress for the easter service). man, to be that graceful. or to be that intent (like the boy).
God musta given me some graces. i just gotta find them.
~ * ~
all that and i'm convinced my iTunes keeps playing the same two dozen songs over and over (and i am getting sick of them!)
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